


What We Don't Know

by Tamasha



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Forgiveness, Gay, Loneliness, Love, M/M, Male Slash, Marriage, Modern Era, Partner Betrayal, Relationship(s), Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4242744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamasha/pseuds/Tamasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur have been married for years, but now that Arthur is running to be an MP, his focus has shifted to work. Merlin, feeling lonely, makes a mistake with Will that he instantly regrets, but will Arthur have him back? Also includes a side story of Leon's relationship with his girlfriend Lamia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What We Don't Know

**Author's Note:**

> written by Natasha

The commercial changed and Merlin saw the face of his husband as he appeared on the television screen. Arthur started talking about his parliamentary campaign, about the things he was going to do to make England a better place. Merlin zoned it out. He had heard it all dozens of times, and while he was proud of Arthur, he would much rather have the real man lying beside him in his bed.

He heaved a sigh and changed the channel. He watched a random episode of QI for a few minutes until his phone rang. Then, he leaped from the bed and crossed the room to where his phone was, expecting it to be Arthur. His phone read "Will". He sighed and reminded himself that Arthur was going to work late tonight. He probably wouldn't be back till Merlin was asleep.

"Hey, Will," he said finally, putting the phone to his ear.

"Merlin!" his friend said. It had been a while since they had last talked. Merlin suddenly felt guilty for not staying in contact recently. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight... I just bought the new Ender's Game movie and I haven't seen it yet."

Merlin bit his lip. He hadn’t seen the movie either, and he would love to spend some time with his best friend. He checked the clock on his phone and sighed. There was no telling when Arthur would be home, anyway. "Will Gilli and Freya be there?" he asked.

"No," Will admitted. "They can't find a babysitter and they don't want Sam staying up on a school night."

"Right," Merlin said. Sam was Gilli's son, but ever since Freya had moved in, they had raised him together. It was odd to see the two end up together, after all this time, but they were inseparable. Who could say why people fell in love? "Yeah, I'll come over," Merlin said, already getting ready to go out.

"Cool. See you soon!" Merlin hung up, then sent a brief text to Arthur, in case he came home first. After that, he headed over to Will's for a movie night.

**~~~~~~**

 

"Sorry about that," Leon said as he stepped back into the office, slipping his phone into his pocket. "Lamia just had a question..." he trailed off as he sat down and began to look over some papers.

Arthur looked at the sheet in front of him and then set it aside. "How are things going with you and Lamia, anyway?" he asked carefully. This was already a sore spot between them, because Arthur had made it clear he did not approve of Lamia. Still, the last time they had argued about her, Arthur had promised he would back off and let Leon make his own choices.

It was easy enough to forget about her in all the chaos of his campaign, even if Leon was by his side all the time, as his manager. They always had something else to distract them.

"She is doing well with the receptionist job she started." Leon didn’t look at Arthur as he pretended to go over a budget sheet. "And she moved in with me last week."

Arthur stiffened. It was one thing to let Leon make his own choices, but quite another to let Lamia sink her claws in that deep. Leon was so blinded by love, he didn't see her flaws. He didn’t realize when he was being manipulated. That had been the issue with Morgana too, but he had finally broken free of that. Arthur did not want to go through that whole process again with Lamia. He took a deep breath. "That's a big step, Leon, and it hasn't been very long since you've gotten together again."

Leon looked up now, glaring at Arthur. "I know what I am doing, Arthur. I know we have had rough patches in the past..." Rough patches, like when Leon ended the relationship and Lamia faked a pregnancy to get him back together with her. Somehow, after that fiasco, Leon had decided to stay with her. It was love, he claimed. "But we have moved past that. Lamia has issues that she is working through, and she could use the stability of a home, not just half of an apartment."

Arthur clenched his jaw. Leon was so in love, he would do anything for this girl. Lamia, Arthur suspected, just enjoyed the attention Leon gave her. Still, he knew he had to drop it, or it would start another fight. "Just... be careful, okay?"

"I always am," Leon said ironically, and turned back to his work. Arthur glanced at his watch and sighed. He had to get back to work, too. It was getting late and he wanted to get home.

Merlin had been complaining lately about Arthur’s long hours. Arthur didn’t like it either, of course, but elections were coming up soon. Merlin would just have to wait, and once Arthur was an MP, he could devote as much time as he needed to their relationship. Things might have been rocky lately, but soon they could fix it together. In the meantime, Arthur had other things to do.

 

~~~~~~

Time crawled. Merlin was going through paperwork, entering new volunteers into the system. While he was certainly happy to see so many new applicants at the animal shelter, he was eager to leave. Just three more pages and he could call it a day. Then he would head over to Will's for a scheduled game night.

Watching Ender's Game last month with Will had been odd. The movie was great, and seeing his friend was nice, but there had been something between them... like a tension. Merlin had grown up with Will, but he had never felt this.

It was almost as if Will was into him. Merlin had overanalyzed every movement, all the words shared between them, trying to see if Will was flirting or hinting at anything. Honestly, in the end, Merlin couldn’t ignore it. But it was Will. So he just made sure they hung out in groups or in public, and if Will seemed to show him too much attention, well... it was a nice change.

Tonight was a Friday, and when Merlin finally arrived at Will's, he found he was the last to arrive. "Where's Sam?" he asked as he hugged Gilli.

"We found a sitter! Tonight is going to be a grown-ups only night." Gilli looked very excited about this prospect.

Freya smiled as she stepped forward to hug Merlin, and then pulled back enough to lift up a paper bag. "We brought booze to celebrate."

"Nice," Will said, coming out of the kitchen and holding up two bottles of wine. "Me too."

Merlin laughed, ready to spend the night actually relaxing and enjoying himself. It was impossible to do around Arthur lately, with all the stress of the upcoming elections. "Let's get started!"

 

~~~~~~

Gilli and Freya’s babysitter had a curfew, so the couple left at eleven. Merlin would have left too, but he was slightly too drunk to drive. So instead, they decided to put on Doctor Who while Merlin sobered up. Already tired, Merlin plopped down on the couch and let Will put in his blu-ray disc and set up the television. When he finished, he sat down on the couch, closer to Merlin than he strictly had to be.

As the episode started to play, Will leaned into Merlin. “Will...” Merlin said, but Will shushed him and pulled Merlin’s head onto his shoulder.

“Relax,” he responded. “You just need some cuddling.” He did. Merlin sighed and closed his eyes. He heard the distinctive sound of the Doctor Who intro and hummed along, making Will laugh.

After a moment, Merlin laughed too, and pushed himself upright. "Will, thanks for this."

Will gave a shrug. "You've been lonely."

Merlin took a deep breath, making a rueful face. "I've missed you."

Will leaned ever so closer and responded quietly. "I've missed you too." Then, their lips were touching. Will moved slowly, easing Merlin into the kiss, so he didn’t really notice until he was kissing Will back feverishly.

Merlin jerked back. His lips felt hot. He stared at his friend. What was happening right now? Even as he questioned himself, he wanted to go back to kissing. It had been too long.

"Merlin, you’re so tense." Will's eyes reflected the light from the television screen, so they looked bright. "Calm down. It's just me." He leaned in and kissed Merlin again, slowly and passionately. Merlin grew hard and began to feel the urgency that came along with that. His hands moved to Will's back.

"I don't - I don't think -" Merlin stammered between kisses. There was something he wanted to say, something important, but his thoughts were scattered and he couldn't quite grasp it.

"Don't think." Will's hands moved down Merlin’s body, and soon he was aching with pleasure. "Just feel."

Will was unbuttoning his pants and Merlin knew something was wrong, but he didn't stop. He just felt. He felt Will's mouth, eager and warm. He felt Will's touch, everywhere at once. He felt himself come, and it was as he floated down to earth that his senses returned to him.

"I want to be inside of you, Merlin. Let me take you." Will spoke from between his legs. Merlin’s eyes flew open.

"Shit."

"Merlin?" Will took Merlin’s hand in his own, but Merlin jerked it away, not even noticing Will's vulnerable look.

"Shit."

He scrambled for his clothes, as if to reverse what he had done. Unable to look him in the eye, Merlin fended off Will's attempts to reassure him wordlessly. He was trying to understand the night’s events. He was looking for an explanation, a loophole, a reset button. Once dressed, he hurried out the door, leaving behind his shoes and anything else not within arm's distance. He got into his car while starting to tremble and slammed his forehead onto the steering wheel.

"Shit."

 

~~~~~~

Arthur pulled up to his house weary, but in a good mood. He and Leon had managed to accomplish a lot, and Arthur was feeling very confident. That is, until he saw Merlin sitting on their porch, his arms wrapped around his knees.

He must have locked himself out, Arthur thought at first. But he hadn’t called or texted. Arthur got out of the car, not bothering to even shut his door yet, as he hurried up the walk. “Merlin?” he called. His husband had his jacket on and he was staring despondently in front of him. He didn’t even acknowledge Arthur, at first, and when he did, he looked tortured. “Merlin, are you okay?” Arthur asked more urgently.

Merlin stood up and looked Arthur in the eye. “I slept with Will,” he croaked. Arthur blinked. He wasn’t sure what this was. 'That’s not funny', he wanted to say, but clearly Merlin didn’t find it funny either. He looked empty. Arthur said nothing, just stood there as he felt a churning start deep in his stomach. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t lie to you.” That’s when Arthur flinched as if he had felt a physical blow. This wasn’t real. Couldn’t be. Merlin opened his mouth and shifted slightly, as if he was going to say something more, but then he deflated. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again as he turned and walked away across the lawn.

Arthur stared at the empty porch for a beat, feeling a shiver go through his body. Then his soul began to fracture and he whirled to see Merlin’s dark form opening a car door. “Merlin!” he shouted, panic rising up in him. He couldn’t just leave Arthur like this. He couldn’t just leave! Merlin got in and shut the door. "Merlin..." Arthur said, quieter, as the engine started up and then the car drove off.

 

~~~~~~

Merlin found himself knocking on the door at Gwaine and Percival’s house. He couldn’t face Arthur, not after what he had done, and he certainly didn’t want to face Will. Freya and Gilli would both give Merlin up in a heartbeat if Arthur came looking. As childish as it was, Merlin wanted to hide.

He knew that Gwaine and Percival were the only ones who would offer no judgments, and also would let him stay hidden until he was ready.

He waited anxiously at the door until a sullen-looking teenager opened it. Merlin offered a weak smile to the boy he did not know. Gwaine and Percival were foster parents, and while there were three that they had adopted, there was a constant flow of other children that just needed a safe, loving home for a short amount of time. This kid was probably someone new. “Hi, I’m Merlin…” Merlin began, but the boy already had taken a step back to allow Merlin room to enter.

“Uh, Gwaine?” the boy called into the house. Moments later, Gwaine trotted around a corner. His face split into a grin at the sight of Merlin.

“Thanks, Erik. You can go back to your homework.” Gwaine moved toward Merlin and his face became concerned. Merlin wasn’t sure how he looked, but it couldn’t be good. “What’s wrong, Merlin?”

Merlin shook his head, suddenly choked up. He cleared his throat. “I… just need a place to stay tonight.” Gwaine’s brows drew together as he frowned. The two men walked further into the house and Gwaine motioned for Merlin to sit on a bar stool at the counter.

“Of course you can stay, Merlin. As long as you need.”

Merlin let out a small breath of relief. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just…”

“It’s not a problem,” Gwaine interrupted. “I’ll just have the younger kids sleep in one room tonight. They’ll love it, and you can take the extra bed.”

At that moment, Percival entered the kitchen with a toddler in each arm, both wrapped in towels and with wet hair. Percival’s shirt was also fairly wet. “Merlin!” He set the children down and shooed them off to their rooms to get on pajamas. “What’s going on?” he asked softly. Gwaine gave him a quick explanation while Merlin looked at his scuffed shoes. “Happy to have you,” Percival said, then hesitated. “If you need to talk, Merlin… we’re here.”

Merlin nodded, miserable. He couldn’t keep them in the dark for long, especially not if he planned to stay here for longer than just tonight. He was ashamed even thinking about trying to explain himself. How had he managed to ruin everything in one night?

 

~~~~~~

Arthur sat at his desk, staring at nothing. He had taken the day off, though he really shouldn’t be wasting time this close to the election. Nevertheless, he knew there would be no concentrating today, and he certainly wasn’t ready to talk about it. He wasn’t even sure what he would say to Merlin, if his husband had bothered to show up. Of course, that wouldn’t happen. Merlin wouldn’t dare come back here, knowing he had betrayed Arthur. Would he?

Arthur sighed and dropped his head into waiting hands. He was angry. That feeling had arisen after the shock had faded last night. He was furious at Merlin for doing this, for breaking his vows to Arthur. The anger was definitely there, but for some reason Arthur couldn’t keep it stoked for very long. It always died out into self-pity or just plain sorrow.

He felt like a broken man. Merlin was Arthur’s husband. His partner. His everything. Merlin was the one person that Arthur had known he could count on, the one constant in a life of chaos. So what had happened?

It wasn’t malice. Though Arthur could barely wrap his head around the fact that this had happened, much less why it had happened, he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Merlin did not hate him. But did he still love him? Had his husband somehow fallen in love with Will? Was Arthur no longer good enough? With a huff, Arthur lifted his head. He didn’t want to wallow.

Whatever the reason, Arthur found a small amount of solace in Merlin’s demeanor last night. He had been sad, guilty, dejected. He would not act that way if he was done with Arthur altogether, right? That hope overrode his anger at Merlin. Because however much he wanted to kill the man, he was certain there would be no life after Merlin.

The phone rang and Arthur glanced at it, sitting on his desk in front of him. Morgana. Arthur almost ignored the call, but he picked it up at the last minute. “Hey.”

“Arthur,” Morgana greeted. Then, she jumped right in, as always. “Leon says you took the day off work. That’s not like you, when staying focused is so important to your campaign. What’s going on?”

Arthur sighed and twirled his chair. He still didn’t want to talk about it, but he knew Morgana. She would dig at him and nag until she had what she wanted. He closed his eyes. “It’s Merlin,” he said softly. Something in his tone must have given him away. Or Morgana was just perceptive, which was also true.

“Shit,” she breathed. “I never actually thought...”

Arthur let out a bitter laugh. “Neither did I.”

“Shit,” she said again. “I’m sorry, Arthur. Hey, why don’t Morgause and I come over tonight? We can make you dinner. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Arthur stared into his kitchen. He didn’t want to have company. He wanted to be alone. At least until he could figure things out. “Morgana, thanks for the offer. Really. I just think -”

“I get it, Arthur. You’re miserable. But that’s no reason to shut people out. We’ll be there tonight, and you can complain about whatever you want. I’m not taking no for an answer.” And with that she hung up. Arthur sighed into the silence of his house, but didn’t bother to call her back.

 

~~~~~~

Leon ended up coming too, which meant so did Lamia. Arthur found himself half-heartedly going through the motions of being a host while his friends tried to cheer him up. Leon eventually started talking about work, and for the first time that night, Arthur engaged. It wasn’t that he was happy, or he forgot about Merlin and his situation, it was just habit. Politician-Arthur was someone entirely separate from regular-Arthur. It was then that Arthur got the first inkling of what might have gone wrong. At this point, it was nothing concrete, just a sense of unease when he realized how easily he could shed his problems and put on a confident mask of positivity and efficiency.

Morgause noticed and eyed him with distaste, but Morgana was too absorbed by her cooking, and Morgause didn’t say anything. Arthur let himself get distracted until Morgana served dinner, and then they all sat around the table. There was a silence as they all started to eat. Morgana was the one who finally addressed the elephant in the room. “Have you talked to Merlin yet?”

Arthur almost choked on his pasta. He cleared his throat and then swallowed properly. “No,” he said flatly.

“Where is he staying?” Leon asked.

“I don’t know.” Another silence ensued as his friends tried to wrangle their curiosity on the subject that Arthur so clearly did not want to discuss.

“I feel funny,” Lamia announced into the silence. Everyone turned to her as she fluttered her long eyelashes and then toppled over in a dead faint. Leon leaped to his feet and then gathered her onto his lap. Morgause helpfully handed him a glass of water - the two got along much better now that they were not both orbiting Morgana. Leon dabbed a napkin in the water and wet Lamia’s face, making soft, soothing noises as he did so. Arthur, Morgana, and Morgause all stood around the pair and watched as Lamia fluttered her eyelids again and began to cough. “What happened?” she asked, trying to sit up. Leon held her carefully.

“You fainted,” Morgause said bluntly.

“How do you feel now?” Leon asked, almost on top of Morgause.

Lamia looked around, dramatically taking in each person around her, and then looked back at her boyfriend. “I think I’m okay,” she said.

Arthur noted how deftly Lamia had taken the attention away from him and brought it to herself. He didn’t say anything, because for once it benefited him, and because she might not have been faking. Still, there was something off about the whole thing, and it wasn’t exactly out of character for Lamia to do something like this on purpose.

The rest of the night passed smoothly, as the women helped Leon pack up and take Lamia home to rest, and then they cleaned the kitchen and did dishes. Arthur stared at a single page of a book through all this, and when they were finished, he said he wanted to be alone, and escorted them out the door.

 

~~~~~~

“Sorry again about the other night,” Leon said, sitting on Arthur’s couch. He was always apologising for Lamia. Arthur shrugged and said nothing, just took a long sip of his wine. They had pages of policies and stances of the current House of Commons spread in front of them. They were meant to go over them and clarify where Arthur would stand on each issue for his upcoming debate.

Arthur sipped on his wine. He was already two glasses in. Leon shifted and pulled out a paper to scrutinize, but when he spoke again, it had nothing to do with government policies. “Still no word from Merlin?”

“Nothing,” Arthur said. At first, he hadn’t given it a second thought. But as time passed, Arthur began to ask around. No one had heard anything from Merlin and Arthur began to worry. Tonight would be the fourth night. Did Merlin have a place to stay, a bed to sleep in? Would he ever come home? Arthur tried to harden his heart to him, but he just needed to be sure Merlin was safe. He had asked everyone they knew. Everyone… except Will.

Suddenly Arthur stood up, swaying slightly as he downed the last of his wine. “Arthur?” Leon asked.

“I need to talk to him. I’m going to talk to him.”

Leon set down his paper and stood to face Arthur. “I know you want to find him, Arthur. Maybe tomorrow you can take the morning off and check at his work. He won’t have left the shelter to get along without him.”

'But he left me to get along without him,' Arthur whined silently. He shook himself. “I didn’t mean Merlin,” he said aloud. “I am going to Will’s.”

Abruptly, Leon’s eyes became guarded. “Arthur, is that the best idea?”

“Who said we are working with best ideas?” Arthur said angrily. Now that the thought had occurred to him, he was set on it. Will had just been a shadow in Arthur’s head through all of this, when in reality, he was the one Arthur should be furious with. Arthur was furious. Will had taken his husband. Arthur had dated Merlin for five years before proposing. Far too long. Now, they had been married for eleven years. Will had no right to interfere in that. None. “I am going to Will’s house.”

Leon grabbed his arm as Arthur turned away. “Arthur, you’ve been drinking. You shouldn’t drive.” Arthur gave him a steely look. Leon sighed. “Okay, I’ll take you to Will’s house.”

 

~~~~~~

Leon waited in the car as Arthur pounded on the door. Will opened it, looking vaguely annoyed, until he realized who was there. Then his eyes widened. “Will,” Arthur said, too politely.

“Arthur,” Will said, not so politely. He sneered at Arthur. “Have you finally come to collect your property? Did I take something that belonged to you?”

Arthur’s fist connected with Will's jaw before he could consider his action. The other man staggered and glared at Arthur, but he didn't retaliate. Arthur took a deep breath, shaking out his hand. He had not liked the way Will put it, that Merlin was Arthur’s property. Merlin did belong to him, but he belonged to Merlin too. It was mutual. But he faltered, unsure. Was it still mutual? He didn’t even know what Merlin thought anymore.

“Where is he?” Arthur growled. Merlin was all that mattered.

“So you finally care. You know, if you hadn’t neglected him, maybe this never would have happened.” Arthur went rigid. Will still stood in the doorway, holding onto the door, so he could close it quickly if he wanted to. 'If you hadn’t neglected him…' Had he neglected Merlin? He had been busy lately, of course, but neglect? Besides, he was going to make it all up to Merlin, as soon as elections were over.

“Just tell me where he is,” Arthur said again, almost begging.

Will scowled. “He hasn’t spoken to me.” Arthur’s heart skipped a beat, whether in excitement or nervousness, he couldn’t say. “You stopped caring for him like you should have, Arthur. I was just trying to give him what you weren’t.” Will spoke candidly, and for some reason, Arthur’s anger drained instantly, and he felt only despair. He stared at Will, wondering if he was lying, wondering where Merlin was. “I don’t know where he is either,” Will said finally, and then shut the door on Arthur.

Arthur just stood there for a moment, and then walked slowly back to Leon’s car.

 

~~~~~~

The purring of the cat reverberated through Merlin’s hand and up his arm. He was stroking the cat idly as the other employees left for lunch. Merlin wasn’t hungry and had offered to stay, and the cat was happy for the attention.

He had explained everything to Gwaine and Percival the next day, and they let him stay and even kept his secret, but both of them urged him to go talk to Arthur. Gwaine tried jokes that fell flat on Merlin’s ears and Percival tried encouragement that did not budge him. Merlin tried to gather his courage.

He was in the wrong here. No matter his reasons, no matter how insistent Will had been, he was responsible for his own actions, and he had failed Arthur. He had broken his husband’s trust, and without trust, what could there be between the two of them? “You won’t know how he is going to react until you speak with him,” Percival told Merlin often. That was true. Yet Merlin didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to see Arthur only to find that his husband could not forgive him. As long as that chance remained… Merlin didn’t want to lose his other half, but he didn’t know how to rewind time to take back what he had done.

The bell over the door jingled, so Merlin set down his cat and went to help the visitor. When he walked into the front room, though, he froze. Arthur. For a split second, he saw his husband as he had on the first day he met him: standing confident, but with a vulnerable look on his face, the sun shining from behind him to outline him in gold. Then the door swung shut, and Merlin saw the Arthur of today: older, more worn, but wiser, more patient. Merlin wondered if this would help him.

“Merlin,” Arthur said. He just sounded tired, nothing else. Merlin took a tentative step forward. “You’re okay,” he whispered, rushing Merlin with fresh guilt.

Merlin bit his lip. “I should have called you back. I’m… sorry.” The words sounded hollow in even his own ears. Arthur looked down at the floor and watched as the cat sauntered from behind the desk and began to rub against his legs.

Then, Arthur looked back up. He looked tortured. “Does he fit you better than me?” Merlin’s heart sank.

“No!” Merlin stepped forward, reaching for Arthur, and then stopped, realizing Arthur might not want to touch him. “No, Arthur,” he said hopelessly. “I was lonely. Will started kissing me, and I… it was a mistake. I never…” He floundered as Arthur’s face turned grim. It passed, though, and Arthur stared into Merlin’s soul. Merlin just stood there, baring himself. “I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t there for you,” Arthur said eventually.

Merlin opened his mouth, but he didn’t know what to say. It was true, but… “That doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“Maybe not,” Arthur replied softly. He looked away again, but turned back before long. “I’m still sorry. I left you for my work as much as you left me for him.” Merlin flinched, but Arthur went on. “We’ve both made mistakes.”

“Maybe,” Merlin said softly.

“What about now, Merlin?” Arthur asked. Merlin blinked, not sure what he meant. “I know we will have to rebuild trust between us, and I know this might be a long process, but... when are you going to come to back home?”

Arthur looked lost. Merlin probably did too. “Will you take me back?” he asked.

Arthur moved towards him first, but Merlin closed the distance before his husband could reach him. Whatever might stand between them, it wasn’t enough to keep them apart. He had never felt so right in Arthur’s arms.

 

~~~~~~

Merlin was tense and desperate at once, and it was all Arthur could do just to hold him, knowing that he did belong to Arthur. Arthur moved Merlin’s head to his shoulder with his spare hand and he held him tight, afraid for a moment to let go. “This can’t ever happen again,” he said hoarsely. “You belong here.”

“I’m yours, Arthur. Always and forever.”

Arthur made a satisfied noise and then let his husband go, realizing that his eyes were growing teary. He had wanted for a moment to go to Will again, when Merlin had spoken his name. Now, he realized that Will was not important; Merlin was important.

Arthur examined Merlin. His eyes were red and his face showed more cheekbone than it normally did. He looked a little worse for the wear. He looked intoxicating. Arthur wanted to take him right there and cleanse him of Will. Instead, he took a deep breath and looked into Merlin’s earnest blue eyes. “I’ll see you at home?” he asked.

Merlin’s lips twitched into a smile. “I’ll see you at home,” he responded.

 

~~~~~~

Arthur heard a tentative knock at the door, and then Merlin was coming in. He had a bag in one hand and, of all things, a cat in the other. Arthur came to meet him and took the bag of clothes. He gave the cat a look.

Merlin shrugged. "He needed a home while he gets used to people. He's not ready for adoption yet." The cat leaped down from Merlin’s arms and trotted confidently towards the living room. Arthur shrugged back. It wasn’t uncommon for Merlin to bring home an animal from the shelter.

Then, the two stood awkwardly in the entrance hall, unsure of what to do next. "So I can -" Merlin began, at the same time as Arthur said, "I guess you..."

They both stopped and waited for the other. Arthur sighed. "You first."

Merlin didn’t quite meet Arthur's eyes. "I can sleep on the couch, if you want, " he offered.

Arthur shook his head quickly. "Nonsense." He wasn’t sure how he would feel about that come nighttime, but they would figure it out. He wasn’t about to kick his husband out of their bed.

Merlin nodded slowly. "What were you going to say?"

"Oh!" Arthur remembered. "I thought you would be hungry. I made dinner..." He wanted Merlin to know that whatever had transpired, he was still welcome and Arthur still cared for him.

"Oh!" Merlin echoed. "Well... erm, thank you." Arthur took Merlin’s hand and the smile that he received brightened the room and washed away the awkwardness.

"Come here." He took Merlin to the dining room, where there was a home-cooked meal set out, complete with candles and napkins. Merlin’s face took on a surprised look. "Bon Appétit?" Merlin laughed and they sat down to dinner, finding their places with each other inch by inch.

 

~~~~~~

Elections came and went. Despite the hiccup in his campaign, Arthur still managed to win the vote, and Merlin had insisted on throwing the newest Member of Parliament a party. Things between the two of them weren’t perfect, but they were headed on a road to recovery. Merlin may have been the only one who could break Arthur’s heart so thoroughly, but he was also the only one who could stand by Arthur to pick up the pieces and mold them back together.

What they had now was something slightly different perhaps, but it was something stronger and sturdier. Arthur was happy to have his husband back.

Morgana and Morgause said that they couldn’t make it, but everyone else showed up: Gwaine, Percival, Gilli, Freya, Sam, and of course, Leon. When he showed up alone, though, Arthur was a little wary. Lamia did not like to miss out on group activities. She felt entitled to be a part of everything.

The first chance he got, Arthur asked Leon about it, and his friend’s eyes grew solemn. “We are done. For good.” Arthur raised a brow, trying not to show his happiness. Leon sighed. “She… cheated on me. She told me about it, somehow thinking that it was going to help our relationship. She was even surprised that I didn’t forgive her. ‘But Arthur forgave Merlin!’ were her exact words, I believe.”

Arthur pursed his lips, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry,” he said finally.

“Don’t even think about it. Lamia was never my Merlin.” Arthur nodded, and then couldn’t help but smile and pat his friend on the back.

“She may not have been the one, Leon, but that doesn’t mean there’s not one out there. Just keep looking.” And then he met Merlin’s eyes from across the room and his smile grew.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written based off of the thought "what is the worst thing one of them could do to the other and still be accepted back?". So, while it was not meant to be happy, it only arose of out my mean-spirited author brain. I'd like to think this situation would never happen. Still, as always, tell us your thoughts in a comment!


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